Today is March 2, 2010

My name is Erin and I have decided to follow in my sister's footsteps and jump on this Thin In 2010 bandwagon. I have been struggling with my weight since 2002 and only after having my son did I really spiral out of control. Every year I say I am going to lose this weight and every year I find some ''excuse'' as to why I cant right then and there. But not anymore, I am turning 30 on Saturday I the longer I put this off, the worse I will become. At least that's what I fear.

I used to be extremely active as a young adult. I was always on the go and never had to worry about what I was eating or drinking or doing. But then, I got married and comfortable and just didn't work so hard on keeping thin. And well, Chris has been amazing thru the years, but has also been my enabler. He has always told me, even to this day, how he doesn't care what I look like, and how beautiful I am, and he loves me no matter what! But now the problem is, I DON'T LOVE MYSELF anymore! I am disgusted every time I look in the mirror and have pretty much quit looking at myself. I yo-yo diet and cant lose more than 30 lbs, at a time. I get frustrated and give up. I have joined the gym more times than I can count and go hard and heavy for about 6 months and then an injury happens, or I get sick, or I tell myself i can skip just this once, its OK. Then 3 months later, I realize I have quit going... its horrible!!!!

So, this year at the beginning of it, I told myself- Erin, you have got to do this. No more kidding around. I lost like 10 lbs in January and then February came along and before I realized it, I had gained my 10 back and then some. If you haven't noticed, I have quit posting pictures of myself. This is why.. I cant hide my fat face anymore :( The good news is, everyone in my household has gotten on the same page and we all want the same thing. To get fit. So this will make it easier on me. Because I am horrible at this alone. I need support and encouragement. And the fact that everyone is willing to eat right and exercise, I know that I will be more likely to succeed at this. I am not setting the bar too high this time, and I am not going to fill my thoughts with unrealistic expectations. I am following in my sisters footsteps and I am going to do mini goals like weight watchers tells you to do, I am going to give myself a rewards chart, and I am only going to take this one day at a time. So this is it. Buckle up cuz its gonna be a bumpy ride, but I really think I can do this. Here we go!

So here is what I did today:
I got out of bed at 9am (horrible i know!) and roughly got 8 hrs of sleep which is good!! I made coffee and played on my farm on facebook :) I had 1 cup of coffee w/ fat free french vanilla creamer and regular sugar. I KNOW! the sugar killed it, but i forgot to buy my splenda. Then, we got dressed and left the house. Went to a couple of banks, and to this place called entertainmart to buy Zakk a game. We stopped at McDonald's for lunch and all i ordered was a SMALL CHEESEBURGER. and guess what! I only ate 1/2 of it~! No fries No coke! We then went to walmart and grocery shopped. Spent an hour in that place and for slow paced walking I think I burned 178 calories, at least that's what my lose it app says. Came home and put the groceries away and then let my son play outside w/ the neighbor kids and I sat and talked to their mom.. my friend :) Chris came home and we went to the gym. I walked for 15 minutes at 3.0 speed on the treadmill and then decided to work on my arms for the night. I used 4 different arm machines and did 3 reps of 20 on each. I wasn't hydrated enough and didn't sweat my ass off, but I put in a good first workout! I am proud of my self, until I came home! So Zakk wanted biscuits and gravy for dinner. So I made it, and ate it. I had 3 biscuits and a dollop of gravy on each 1/2 of biscuit. But if you know me and you know what I usually eat and drink this is OK. NOW here is where you all stand up and applaud me! ALL DAY (besides coffee) I drank NOTHING but water! That is a feat in itself for me, for I hate water! I will go thirsty before I drink water on a regular basis!! But I did it and I am happy with my day. I did not stuff sweet stuff down my throat all day and I didn't sit on my butt and do nothing all day! I am working in the right direction, it is just going to take time.

So lets recap:
Water- 4 glasses 0 calories
Coffee- 1 cup 227 calories (roughly)
1/2 cheeseburger- 156 calories
clementine- 35 calories
3 biscuits- 160 calories
gravy- 179 calories (roughly)
TOTAL: ***757 calories consumed

Exercise:
walking in the store- 178 calories burned
gym treadmill- 68 calories burned
gym weights- 118 calories burned (roughly)
TOTAL: ***364 calories burned

which means I actually only consumed about 394 calories today! EEP, that is not much at all!!

Now, it is late and I am going to take my sleeping pill and go on to bed, i am tired!! More tomorrow :)
***ROUGHLY: since I don't know exactly how much I actually burned..