Better late than never!

March 3, 2010-

So I woke up at 8am and only ended up getting around 6 hours of sleep. Not good for trying to lose weight. For some reason, I just couldn't sleep, even with a sleeping pill. So I made my coffee and had one cup. Immediately after, I downed a glass of water to make myself feel better! HA! I also got on facebook and farmed. I love my farm, I know it's just a game, but I am addicted! I can't go a day without checking it, rearranging it, or farming. I wish I could farm from my iPhone, but I cant. Don't get me wrong, they HAVE an app for farming, but it is NOT MY FARM VILLE! lol... I was in a mood from the get go. I wasn't pissed off or angry or anything, not even Blah, just a mood. I cant even describe it into words what I was feeling. It's like a mixture of sad, frustrated, and just wanting to be by myself. But as we all know, I have a very stubborn 3 year old that likes ALL of my attention. Plus I just wanted to escape reality. Bills are due and with our ac/heat unit on the fritz our electric bill tripled for 3 months! Now if I had been wise and paid attention in January when our bill doubled, I could have nipped the problem in the bud and been done with it. BUT NO! I just assumed because it was the billing cycle of around Christmas time, with us having the Christmas lights on and Zakk having a lamp on all night and our TV being on all the time that that was why our bill doubled! No big deal, paid the amount and continued on my way. Then, we got our February bill and it TRIPLED!!! I was not expecting that!! So I called them, and they so impolitely said that nearly every one's bill had doubled due to it being in the teens and low twenty's for a few weeks.... WELL HELLO! MINE TRIPLED! So I hung up frustrated and split my bill into two payments, because lets face it, you don't budget for a $650 electric bill. I had to tap into savings for that one. Then we finally got a service man out from Chris's company and come to find out, it was our thermostat being out and 2 wires were crossed, so for the slower ones out there that means that OUR AC/HEATER WAS RUNNING AT THE SAME TIME NON STOP!!!!!!!!! I was so thankful that we got it fixed and that I would start to see my electric bill back to around $150 a month. Then 3 days later, I got our electric bill for March, and it was $800! I was like seriously?? Cant we get a break around here??? So needless to say I screwed up and it ended up hurting us. So sorry for the rant, but it feels good to vent! So back to the original topic of wanting to escape reality. You see I needed to explain why I want to disappear. I mean we had the money but it was going to be used for something else... now its not :(

So all day i was .... lets call it depressed.... I wasn't motivated to do anything. I didnt clean. I wasn't hungry and didn't eat hardly anything again ( BAD I KNOW!!! DON'T YELL) and with Zakk wanting my attention all day, I just wasn't in the mood. I did manage to eat half a banana as a snack and a bologna sandwich w/ provolone cheese and mayo for lunch. Drank another 16oz of water with that and for dinner I had this new Ramon noodle style Chicken Lo Mien. It wasn't as good as the Chinese restaurant, but it was only 240 calories :) I also bought some crystal lite at the grocery store and made a 2 quart pitcher of it so that was 5 calories for one glass :)
Now adding up all my calories and not going to the gym I only managed to consume 1,005 calories!! WTH? How is it even possible that I am surviving??? LOL! My Lose It App has me budgeted for 2,162 calories A DAY! I haven't even come close all week!! I better lose some damn weight this week- but knowing me, my body is hording it all because it thinks i am starving. Trust me, I know the habits I am falling into are bad for long goal weight loss. But if I am not hungry, should I force myself to eat?? Or just eat when I am hungry??

I did not go to the gym because I just didn't have the energy to. I know here we go with the excuses all ready, but when your stressed out you just don't want to do anything. Plus I seriously hurt from the night before. It hurts to move my arms any which way, which is a GREAT thing!! My shoulders even hurt :) So, we ate dinner at 6pm and I didn't have a lick of anything else for the rest of the evening!!!!!!!!! Which is also great news. We watched TV, and put Zakk to bed around 10pm and as soon as he crashed around 10:15p I took my sleeping pill and we hit the sack. I fell asleep pretty quickly and was so happy to see this awful day put behind me.

Side note- Ya know it's been a solid 3 days without a coke or anything thing sweet like a cookie or ice cream or dessert-y. I think my emotions have something to do w/ that as well. Who knows.